Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Chirp, chirp, CHIRP!

After a long day of travel, I arrived in sweaty Tampa.  The sketchy motel I'm staying at is in St. Pete's Beach - what I naively thought was the same thing as St Petersburg...ends up the town is 20 miles away and I am without a vehicle...  Still, could be worse.  I was definitely tired and so I went to turn in early.  I'm a little freaked out being on the ground floor of a motel so I didn't fall asleep right away.  Around 10 pm I started hearing a cricket chirping.  It was quiet at first, but then grew louder.  I tried to drown it out.  No dice.  So I got up and stomped the hell out of the corner I could hear it in.  It stopped.  Crisis averted, back to bed.  Light off, flip flops off, glasses off, vibrant floral pattern blanket on, sigh.....chirpchirpchirp....light on, blanket off, glasses on, flip flops on (who in their right mind would dare walk barefoot in this place, I don't know) over to the corner again.  This time, my weapon was a DVD case.  Slamming it against the wall, the carpet, every nook and cranny.  Back to bed.  Chirpchirpchirp.  This went on until 1 am.  I tried watching LOST to distract me and it worked for a while but I was exhausted.  Finally my brilliant friend Tom suggested I cover the area with hairspray.  That way, even if I missed the chirping bastard with my foot or DVD case, he'd hopefully be drowned in sticky alcohol spray.  I tried it around 2 am.  Silence.  I finally fell asleep a while later.  Silence.  5 am CHIRPCHIRPCHIRP.  Obviously pissed off by earlier homicide attempts, cricket vengeance was strong.  I put the pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep.  I was in and out and finally got up at 7 when my alarm went off.  Light on.  Silence.  Right when I got up, he was silent as the dead cricket I had hoped he was.  

I haven't heard from him since....but it is twilight....

(...to be continued)


  1. hey, it could have been worse...he could have crawled into your ear or something to take revenge...

  2. Lol @stugalu! You know Steph, I just found out in Guthrie, OK that it's bad luck to kill a cricket!!

  3. AW SHIT! Well good thing I failed miserably at killing it....